Wow

Just when I think I have it all figured out...
My mom and sis came over today to (belatedly) celebrate my birthday and we had a good time.
We went out to lunch, Mom of course bugging my sister about her "relationship" and me about my eating habits. Some things never change. My stepfather sent along some birthday money and you're never too old to be cheered by birthday cash.
So we went to the bookstore where I picked up a couple of very interesting looking books: Emma by Jane Austen and a book about a cop who goes undercover with the Mongols, a biker gang.
I think my attitude helped. I purposely led myself through a few thoughts this morning about accepting people as they are, lowering expectations and realizing that I can't receive validation of who I am from everyone I think I should.
Also, kind of a morbid thought, between my husband and I, there's one parent left alive: that's my mom. I want to enjoy her company as much as I can because no-one lives forever.
I was sad that my dad died fairly young but I have no regrets because we were at peace with each other and enjoyed a loving, if distant, relationship. More acceptance there.
So today I'm feeling good about things...and tomorrow my husband comes home for a short while.
Sometimes, it seems to me, that when things appear so bleak, these things happen as if God is saying "I'm still here. I know it's tough right now but I'm working things out."
He sends a couple rays of sunshine through the clouds.