Really Really Depressed

...but there's light at the end of the tunnel. I finally have enough money to see the Dr. So I'm on the phone right now making an appointment.
Other than that, I've been depressed, mainly panicky and my hours are all fucked up. I was supposed to run errands today but I find myself afraid to leave the house. I will be forcing myself to go do my errands tomorrow morning. One more afternoon of feeling safe in my house should do it.
I can't sleep, then I sleep too much so I end up sleeping all day which is even more depressing. It's self-perpetuating. Sometimes I eat alot of sugary stuff because it makes me feel a little better then there's regret for eating so much junk and a feeling of powerlessness and and and...
My appointment is for Oct. 13th, 10 more days to go.
It turns out that I need to pay between $80-$100, they didn't tell me that last time. I couldn't get a straight answer out of them last time. I hate being at the mercy of these fuckheads. I need them. I need them to write the prescriptions, I need their knowledge of the drugs but they are human, like me and they fuck up big time. They won't admit their fuck-ups though. Fucking useless.