Bird at first

I got a new pet bird yesterday. He is about midsize, mostly green.
I have been uninspired lately as far as writing. I wonder if the drugs make me too calm, too complacent. Sometimes I wonder if they are robbing me of my personality, of what makes me ME.
I've sometimes been confused as to why some people don't take their medicine in spite of its benefits. I think I understand more now. I knew a guy who was afraid that the government was controlling his mind through the drugs. In a way it was true but the drugs kept him out of jail. He chose to keep going off them anyway.
The medicine that keeps the symptoms at bay also seems to keep a part of me at bay, an important part. Mental illness is a continually unspiraling universe of shit.