Stole This

A long time ago all humans were one gender.
All humans had:- 2 heads- 4 arms- 4 legs- and one soul
One day the gods split humans in half, thus humans only have one head, two arms, two legs, and merely half a soul.
The other half of your soul exists somewhere in this world. No other person can bring out your maximum potential. It is your destiny to find this person, only this person can make you complete.
Find them, and cherish them.

As I Look At This Blank Screen

...I think "What the hell should I write?"
Well, I "attended" an online AA meeting, usual mix of angels, assholes and those of us in between. I may go back and chat. I can really get into it if I'm in the mood although there is a certain annoying phoniness to chatting with strangers.
I'm tapering down on this romance phase in book reading. I think I may want to read autobiographies next. I wonder if Alistair Crowley wrote an autobiography.
I like knowing how sick minds squirm around with their logic. Alchemy and other ancient supposed mysteries sound good too, not to mention the history of Europe.
Damned laptop. I quit.

Feeling Special

Sometimes I feel so sexually aware that it feels like electricity dancing along my skin and the whole world is tense with a lightning-like hum. And there's no one to tell, other than my beloved blog.
According to my counter, I'm the only reader...haha...so I write what I will, nay, what I must write.

Thanksgiving Traditions

My husband and I eat dinner in front of the tv and watch marathons. It is very quiet and peaceful in our house. Except when the "kids" (our cockatiel and parrot) make some noise. We have a traditional supper: turkey, roasted...green bean casserole, some type of potato, candied yams and pumpkin and pecan pies for dessert.
He prefers Cool Whip on his pie (what is that stuff, anyway?), I like real whipped cream (from a spray can). We drink soda with everything, maybe milk with the pie.
Happy Thanksgiving

Bird at first

I got a new pet bird yesterday. He is about midsize, mostly green.
I have been uninspired lately as far as writing. I wonder if the drugs make me too calm, too complacent. Sometimes I wonder if they are robbing me of my personality, of what makes me ME.
I've sometimes been confused as to why some people don't take their medicine in spite of its benefits. I think I understand more now. I knew a guy who was afraid that the government was controlling his mind through the drugs. In a way it was true but the drugs kept him out of jail. He chose to keep going off them anyway.
The medicine that keeps the symptoms at bay also seems to keep a part of me at bay, an important part. Mental illness is a continually unspiraling universe of shit.

But when you don't have the drugs

Life really begins the downward spiral. Yes, I have to get refills.
Hubby has normal job now which means I get to try my hand at normal housewife. I actually made dinner, cleaned a little and washed some dishes. I can feel my energy running lower and lower but I so want to be normal, so tired of being a wreck.
My spaghetti turned out so-so. My cooking is a good indication of my mood, unhappy mood, unhappy dish. God forbid that I bake when in a down mood: flat cake, tough piecrusts.
Just sitting here waiting for hubby to come home.

The Few, The Proud...

The Overmedicated. Some of the joys of being heavily medicated are sleepiness, forgetfulness, inability to think clearly. Some times I don't trust my judgement.
Alot of times I don't trust my judgement. For example, now they're telling me I'm bi-polar. So are the times when I feel very happy just episodes of mania? When I feel clever, when I'm talkative, are these symptoms of a disease? I just don't know.
It makes me just not want to be around other people in case they see what I cannot and have not seen until the Dr. finally insisted that this latest disease is my problem. I've been diagnosed with many things and I've researched them to find that the symptoms do match up thus leaving me to contemplate how fucked up things can get.
How can one person be so fucked up? It's amazing that I can even function. I'll attribute that miracle to God. I couldn't do this on my own. And the pills, shit! I've had all kinds of side effects that I don't think I will share today. A pill for every ill, an ill in every pill, one to wake you up, one to put you to sleep, one to make the voices go away, one to keep you calm, one to kep you from going comatose forever and ever amen.

Day, Tolerance

I had a nice day today-first IHOP, then the Mall, then grocery shopping and home, all with my dear husband. It wasn't always like this. I used to cook beans almost exclusively (attempting to add "thrifty" items like neckbones), we didn't have two nickels to rub together but we were reasonably happy and that is how we are now. Time passes, situations change but one can remain steady and determined to be content...not that I'm overly steady. ;)
Tolerance: Since when did tolerance become whole-hearted acceptance? I can disagree with others on hot-button topics but still respect them and accept that they are free to pursue their idea of happiness. Lately though, if a person mentions a slightly different opinion, that person is maligned as being intolerant. So much for tolerance on the part of the maligner. What a bunch of bullshit. Sometimes I find my fellow human beings to be totally annoying.